


Disclosure

by leoparddapple12



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Transgender Character, Coming Out, Coping, F/M, Flashbacks, Gender Dysphoria, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15415698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoparddapple12/pseuds/leoparddapple12
Summary: Lup tells Barry why she and Taako call each other "identical" twins.





	Disclosure

Barry stepped quietly into Lup’s room, taking a moment to appreciate how it was decorated. It wasn’t as vibrantly colorful as her brother’s room, or monochrome like Lucretia’s with only whites and blues, but rather it was schemed in the colors of fire. Vibrant reds and oranges, like the evocation spells she prefered to cast. Her room was fairly clean, though the desk was cluttered and the bed wasn’t made yet.

She was sitting with her legs crossed on the aforementioned bed, her hair down rather than tied back with the quirky accessories she usually held it back with, and above all else she looked anxious. Something Barry almost didn’t recognize since he had almost always seen her as collected. Now he was worried.

“You wanted to talk?” He figured he’d start the talking for her. She looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, close the door behind you, won’t you?”

He did so, immediately returning to the bed as soon as it was done.

“May I?” He gestured to the bed to make sure it was okay for him to sit down. Lup nodded and he took a seat, mimicking the way she had crossed her legs.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about? Is it anything serious?”

Lup pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t know about serious...I don’t think it’s life-changing, but it’s definitely touchy. Taako is the only other person who knows about this.”

“In any case,” Barry assured, “I’m all ears, and I won’t tell anybody if you don’t want it getting out there.”

Lup nodded, attempting to smile. “I appreciate that, Barry, really.” She had her hands close together in her lap; her fingers never interlocking but constantly in motion. This was a quirk Barry recognized in Taako, too.

“So,” Lup began, “you know how sometimes Taako and I refer to each other as identical twins?”

Barry nodded. “I’ve noticed. You do look very similar to each other, though...” He wasn’t sure how to phrase the statement, so he let it die in his throat. Lup picked up from there almost as if she was waiting for those exact words.

“The thing is, technically, we _are_ identical twins. Our parents thought we were both born male.”

There was the bombshell. It wasn’t necessarily earth-shattering, but it surprised Barry nonetheless. He never would have known if she didn’t tell him.

“I don’t want to pry, but why aren’t...?” He wanted to be delicate with this, now understanding why Lup was so anxious to tell him, and why Taako would have known.

“I can’t describe what it was,” Lup said, “but it just didn’t feel right. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I don’t know when it started but I just remember being upset with myself for such a long time. And Taako was the first one to notice. I didn’t even have to say anything to him, he just knew I wasn’t happy.

“Elves typically pick our own names when we reach adulthood,” she continued, “but I picked mine when we were still being passed around from relative to relative, and were still considered ‘children’. Taako was the first one to hear it, and he made sure everyone who took us in knew that from that point onward, my name was Lup. Some were more receptive of it than others, but we made that point clear to everyone regardless of what they said.”

She started shaking, her hands moving a bit faster and more frantically. Barry reached with his larger hands to hold both of hers. She looked up at him and smiled softly in thanks. She took a deep breath and continued.

“It was a few years after we started going off on our own that we found them. A transmutation wizard who agreed to help me further. We weren’t...as skilled as we are now with our magic, and Taako didn’t want to risk hurting me if he tried. So we found a wizard in one of the caravans we travelled with, who agreed to help us out.”

She was shaking again, as if reciting the memories triggered the sensations that came with them. Barry took his other hand so he held one of Lup’s in each of his own. She squeezed back in response. While he didn’t say it, he looked at her in a way that he hoped said _“if you don’t want to keep sharing if it’s too painful, you don’t have to”_. She appeared to recognize this but carried on anyway.

“The transition wasn’t...” She hesitated. “...instantaneous. It took four days. Four of the longest, most agonizing days of my life. Taako made sure I ate and drank, and was never too far away from me at all. I think the only thing I told him during that time was just a repetitive ‘thank you’. I don’t think I would have pulled through if he wasn’t there to support me.”

“He’s a good brother,” Barry said thoughtfully. “He may not be a great person, but he’s a good brother.”

Lup made a sound that almost sounded like a laugh. “He’s all I had for a long time, I still don’t think I’ve done enough to repay him for being there for me.”

“I’m sure you have.” Barry squeezed her hands reassuringly. “You’ve always been there for each other; you protected him from the physical threats and he comforted you when you faced your inner demons. My question is, why did you want to tell me of all people about this?”

Lup looked Barry dead in the eyes now, her own searching back and forth as though looking for a reaction to the news she had just broken to him. “Since...since we’ve started getting certain feelings for eachother, I wanted to tell you before things got more...serious, I guess.”

Barry nodded. “Lup...thank you for telling me this. I want you to know that what you’ve told me doesn’t change how I feel about you. I still respect you, I actually think I do more, after what you’ve told me.”

She cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“It’s a reflection of your willingness to take matters into your own hands, and your courage. I can tell the experience was painful for you, but it takes so much courage to endure something like that. I bet Taako was so proud of you, and still is today, of how you carried yourself in that time. I'm beyond honored that you trusted me enough to tell me this.”

Lup suddenly flung herself into Barry’s arms. He was frozen for a moment before he could return the embrace.

“I’ve been fighting with myself on whether or not I could trust you,” Lup whispered.

“You can,” Barry said, “never doubt that, Lup. No matter what happens, you can always trust me.”

Lup buried her face into the crook of his neck, silent. He could’ve sworn he felt her smiling against his skin.

It would be another few cycles before they confessed their love to reality, but this was the moment they knew they could trust each other with anything. Arguably, this was where their relationship as everyone knew it truly began.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Small disclaimer: I am a ciswoman and I haven't had any of the experiences Lup describes, so I took a few liberties when writing this. Please let me know if anything I've written is offensive and I will fix it as soon as I can!


End file.
